Riposte
by canadian author
Summary: Rita Skeeter's latest article has been printed and everyone has their own opinion on it-or more specifically, what she said about them. [oneshot]


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

 _There are celebrities-and then there are_ celebrities.

James Sirius Potter looked up at his cousin Fred Weasley, who had begun breaking out into giggles over the line. The pair bought a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ from a newsstand outside of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, despite their parents obvious distaste for their kids reading the _Daily Prophet_ for anything other than Quidditch. They, being the rebellious 10 year olds they were, bought one and promptly began reading one in Fred's room.

"What's so funny Fred?" James asked.

"She's talking about our parents like they're like superstars or something," he answered.

Alas, the kids were oblivious to how famous their parents are. Their parents were the famous war heroes that stopped Voldemort. The fame never did stop, mainly because of their prominence in the Ministry, so the kids thought nothing of the attention.

James rolled his eyes and kept on reading through the article. It was so ridiculous to read the exaggerations of this Skeeter woman.

 _But when word swept the campsite and stadium that a certain gang of infamous wizards (no longer the fresh-faced teenagers they were in their heyday, but nevertheless recognizable) had arrived for the final, excitement was beyond anything yet seen. As the crowd stampeded, tents were flattened and small children were mowed down._

"She was right on that part though," Fred pointed out.

James was about to scoff when he suddenly remembered what happened when people found out about their presence. They ran towards them like they were sprinters finishing a marathon. Lily was absolutely terrified because she thought she'd be trampled. She flailed her arms and cried about all the people that were practically suffocating them.

"Okay. Maybe she's _sort_ of right," James admitted.

-o-O-o-

"She is _not_ right!" Ginny Weasley cried out to her husband in their kitchen. She dropped down a bowl of water for their dog Snuffles before standing back up again to complain to her husband, who was reading the latest Rita Skeeter article aloud.

"I think I know that," Harry replied, drinking from his coffee.

"I mean what's that line she wrote?"

 _Or doe his injury have a more humble origin, one that Potter is desperate to hide? Has his wife perhaps cursed him? Are cracks beginning to show in a union that the Potters are determined to promote as happy?_

Ginny began aggressively chopping up the peppers for her omelet. She said, "I mean come on? _Me_? _Abusive_? Just because I enjoy hexing the occasional person, does _not_ mean that I want to hurt you! I mean I'd only hurt you if you did something stupid but-"

Harry looked up at his wife and told her, "Don't worry about Skeeter."

"I only worry when my reputation is insulted," she informed him. She looked at his face and saw that he was grimacing. He cast a nervous glance at her but then quickly shot his eyes back to the paper once he saw she was looking at her. "What did you just read?"

"Nothing….."

Ginny walked over to him and snatched the paper from him. She scanned the paper until she found the passage he was no doubt looking at.

 _Should we read anything into the fact that his wife Ginevra has been perfectly happy to leave her husband and children behind in London whilst reporting on this tournament? The jury is out on whether she really had the talent or experience to be sent to the Quidditch World Cup (jury's back in-no!) but let's face it, when your last name is Potter, doors open, international sporting bodies bow and scrape, and_ Daily Prophet _editors hand you plum assignments_.

Harry watched as his wife calmly placed the paper back onto the table and disappeared from the kitchen. He was worried that she was going to Apparate away in order to harm Skeeter in any sort of way but she didn't. Instead, she walked back into the kitchen fully dressed to go out and with her wand in hand.

"Where are you going?" he asked nervously.

"Headquarters," she replied, kissing his cheek lightly. "I'm going to see if I'm as good at performing the Bat-Bogey Hex as I once was."

 _As their devoted fans and followers will remember, Potter and Krum competed against each other in the controversial Triwizard Tournament, but apparently there are no hard feelings, as they embraced upon meeting (what really happened in that maze? Speculation is unlikely to be quelled by the warmth of their greeting)._

-o-O-o-

Ivanka Krum laughed hysterically as she read the latest edition of the _Daily Prophet_. Her husband Viktor looked at her strangely because usually the _Daily Prophet_ provide anything _but_ comedy.

"Vot is it?" he asked.

"Oh nothing," she said with a grin. "But apparently, you are haffing an affair with Harry Potter."

" _Harry Potter_?!"

The couple turned to the entrance of their kitchen where their eight year old son Simon was standing with glee on his face. Like most boys his age, he was going through his "I Love Harry Potter" phase.

"Vot about Harry Potter?" Simon asked. Why does he say vat

"I am secretly dating him," Viktor replied nonchalantly.

Simon looked at his father strangely before letting a grin break out on his face. He exclaimed, "THAT'S SO COOL!"

-o-O-o-

"Why don't you like Rita Skeeter, Mum?" Rose Weasley asked her mother as they were eating breakfast.

"Why do you ask that?" Hermione curiously asked her daughter.

"Because I found _this_ ," she said as she held up a copy of "Dumbledore's Army Reunites at Quidditch World Cup Final" that was clearly cut out of this morning's newspaper.

Ron looked at Hermione with amusement and said, "I _told_ you you should've just burnt it."

"Ooh!" Hugo said with glee as he looked at the article. "It mentions Daddy!"

 _Was he, as stated at the time, 'delighted to assist my brother George with a business I've always loved'? Or had he had his fill of standing in Potter's shadow? Was the work of the Auror Department too much for a man who has admitted the destruction of He Who Could Not Be Named's Horcruxes 'took its toll' on him? He shows no obvious signs of mental illness from a distance, but the public is not allowed close enough to make a proper assessment._

Rose looked up at her parents. For an eight year old, she was fairly smart because of the genes she received from her mum. Usually her parents were proud of her daughter's above average intelligence and fondness for reading anything she could get her hands on but that particular day, her parents seemed a bit upset that their daughter was reading about Skeeter's article. Righteously so because even if Rose didn't realize, Skeeter was making incredibly rash assumptions about her father.

"I don't get it," Rose said. She looked at her dad with worry. "Dad, everything's fine right?"

"Of course Rosie," he told her.

"But what's this Rita lady saying?" she asked.

" _Lies_ ," Hermione bitterly told her. Her resentment towards Rita Skeeter had not changed much between her fourth year and the present. She had no intentions to tell her children what Skeeter said about her back in her "heydey" as Skeeter put it but she had every intention to make sure they knew to _not_ trust anything Skeeter says.

Rose and Hugo looked at their mother curiously. She was never this mad around them before so they were able to sense something was wrong; they weren't Hermione Granger's kids for nothing.

"But she seems to like you Mum," Rose said.

 _After a meteoric rise to Deputy Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, she is now tipped to go even higher within the Ministry, and is also mother to son, Hugo, and daughter, Rose. Does Hermione Granger prove that a witch really can have it all? (No-look at her hair.)_

"Other than the jab at your hair Mum," Rose began, "Skeeter seems to like you-admire you to an extent."

"Or she's scared," Hugo suggested.

Neither kid knew why their dad broke out into fits of laughter at the mention of this.

-o-O-o-

"I'm confused," Hannah Longbottom said as she read the latest edition of the _Daily Prophet_.

"About?"

"This," she said, handing her husband Neville the article.

 _Until recently the pair lived above the Leaky Cauldron in London, but rumor has it that not only has Hannah retrained as a Healer, but is applying for the job of Matron at Hogwarts. Idle gossip suggests she and her husband both enjoy a little more Ogden's Old Firewhiskey than most of us would expect from custodians of our children, but no doubt we all wish her the best of luck with her application._

"This is ridiculous," Neville said after her read the portion regarding the couple. "I mean, how did she even find out about your application? She must be bugging again. And how _dare she_ insinuate that we'll be going to work drunk? I would _never_ do something like that!"

Hannah looked at her husband in confusion. He noticed this and asked, "What? Aren't you upset?"

"I mean, I am but you must've forgotten that practically _no one_ believes her articles anymore," she said.

"True," Neville said in agreement. "Wait, but why are you confused?"

"Because she wished me luck," she said simply. "It's not in Skeeter's style of _congratulating_ someone."

Neville grinned and remarked, "And she's calling _us_ the drunks."

-o-O-o-

Luna Scamander read the latest article of the _Daily Prophet_. Of course she doesn't read it too much, much rather enjoying the content of the Quibbler-of course she's a bit biased of course-but she was interested in what Rita Skeeter had to say about them. She figured after Hermione kept her in a jar she'd stop reporting about them but apparently she was wrong

 _Last of the ringleaders of Dumbledore's Army is, of course, Luna Lovegood (now married to Rolf Scamander, swarthy grandson of celebrated Magizoologist Newt). Still delightfully eccentric, Luna has been sweeping around the VIP section in robes composed of the flags of all sixteen qualifying countries. Her twin sons are "at home with grandpa." Is this a euphemism for "too disturbed to be seen in public"? Surely only the unkindest would suggest so._

She began laughing, catching the attention of her two sons who were playing with their toys. Lysander looked up at her and asked, "Why are you laughing Mummy?"

"Because Rita Skeeter just admitted she's unkind," she said with a smile on her face that her children didn't understand.

-o-O-o-

Angelina Weasley didn't pay much attention to her daughter Roxanne as she ran around the park without a care in the world, pushing another little kid to go down the slide. Her cousin Lucy didn't seem to approve very much, crossing her arms disapprovingly like her father. However, Angelina and Lucy's mum Audrey Weasley were too busy reading the article that Rita Skeeter just printed about their extended family.

"Oh this is too good," Audrey said, eating a muggle snack she referred to as a granola bar. "She is _hysterical_. She said that Ginny's abusive and Harry's gay for Viktor. She's really grasping at straws here isn't she?"

"You should've seen her articles during the Triwizard Tournament. She accused Hermione of dating both Harry and Viktor at once," Angelina said.

Audrey burst out laughing. "No way? Hermione Granger right?"

She nodded, continuing to narrate the article that Rita Skeeter had made up to get herself some more galleons-even if it was complete and utter trash.

 _Wherever there is a red head one may make an educated guess that it belongs to a Weasley, but it is difficult to tell whether it is George (wealthy co-manager of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes), Charlie (dragon wrangler-still unmarried, why?), or Percy (Head of the Department of Magical Transportation-it's his fault the Floo Network's too busy!)._

"Well I mean she got _some_ things right in this paragraph," Audrey pointed out.

"And only one insult," Angelina noted.

Angelina looked up to her sister-in-law and smiled, though not because her daughter's lower half was still on the slide while her face was buried in mulch. She said, "I do find her never-ending quest to uncover why Charlie's unmarried quite amusing though. Does this lady not realize that the guy's aromantic?"

"She doesn't realize a lot of things," Audrey remarked, relaxing into the bench.

She took a brief glance up to check on her daughter and niece and cried out, "Lucy, did you push Roxanne down the slide?!"

-o-O-o-

Bill Weasley loved living on the beach. The beach was instant entertainment for his kids and the house was secluded enough he and Fleur were able to set up Quidditch hoops for their Quidditch-obsessed children. Just the backyard alone allowed for him and Fleur to be alone enough to do adult things.

"Zis article is rubbish!" Fleur cried out as she continued to read it. She angrily took a bite out of a piece of toast. "'Oo does zis lady zink she ees?"

"I'm more amused by the fact you said rubbish," Bill remarked with a smile as he made lunch for the family.

"I 'ave lived in England too long," she muttered but Bill heard her and he smiled.

"What'd she even say?" Bill asked curiously.

 _The only one who is easy to recognize is Bill, who poor man, is grievously scarred from an encounter with a werewolf and yet somehow (enchantment? Love Potion? Blackmail? Kidnap?) married the undeniably beautiful (though doubtless empty-headed) Fleur Delacour_.

Bill looked at his wife, who looked deeply offended. He'd like to say it was the jab against him supposedly not being worthy enough to marry her but he knew that it was the insult towards her intelligence.

To lighten the mood, he asked, "So how do you think I seduced you? I personally think it was blackmail. I was never too good at Love Potions."

"If it wasn't the fang earring, it was blackmail," Fleur remarked before continuing on to read the article.

-o-O-o-

Andromeda Tonks didn't like the _Daily Prophet_. She never forgot how during the Second Wizarding War, they printed nonsense that depicted Harry to be the bad guy. She decided from that point on she would _never_ allow her grandson Teddy Lupin to be exposed to the poison the _Daily Prophet_ produced, except if Ginny wrote it. To set the example, she didn't read much of it but Teddy was out on a date with Victoire Weasley and she got a copy from an old friend with a note that read: "Skeeter's written some stuff on your grandson."

She wouldn't go far enough to tarnish the reputation of her grandson. Andromeda was about 58% sure that Rita Skeeter had a soul and wouldn't go as far as to publically take shots at a 16-year old boy that spent his time babysitting the little Weasleys, trying to improve his role as Seeker, and being with his girlfriend. Couldn't she wait until he did something that was _actually_ controversial to attack him?

 _No doubt Potter will be distressed to find know that his sixteen-year-old godson Teddy Lupin-a lanky half-werewolf with bright blue hair-has been behaving in a way unbefitting of wizarding royalty since arriving on the VIP campsite. It might be asking too much that the always-busy Potter keep a tighter rein on this wild boy, who was entrusted to his care by his dying parents, but one shudders to think what will become of Master Lupin without further intervention._

While she provided no details that backed up her claims, she _did_ take the jab about his parents being dead. Andromeda had little patient for the people that made it a point to mention his dead parents every chance they got so she promptly threw the article in the trash, not bothering to read what came next.

-o-O-o-

 _Meanwhile, Mr. and Mrs. Bill Weasley might like to know that their beautiful, blonde daughter Victoire seems to be attracted to any dark corner where Master Lupin happens to be lurking. The good news is both of them seemed to have invented a method of breathing through their ears. I can think of no other reason how they survived such prolonged periods of what, in my younger days, was called 'snogging.'_

"Nan is gonna kill me," Teddy Lupin worriedly said, as his girlfriend Victoire finished reading the article to him as they sat in a muggle diner. They both knew they'd get attention because of the Weasley clan's return to England from the Quidditch World Cup so they figured explaining what the _Daily Prophet_ was to muggles would be easier than dodging attention from wizards and witches.

"And apparently, I'm a corner lurker," Victoire said, sounding quite offended. "What's her deal anyway? Who dedicates like a bloody large paragraph to teenagers snogging?"

He smiled and said, "Looks like you're not a fan of her."

"Oh no," she sarcastically said before taking a sip from her coffee. "But anyway, you should be more worried about my dad than Andromeda."

"Why? He already knew that we were snogging at the Finals," Teddy said.

"Yeah but he's probably mad that we snogged so much it got into the paper," Victoire responded with a smile.

He groaned, just imagining what the reactions would be to that. Sure it was Skeeter that wrote that but still, getting into the paper for snogging was going to provoke some teasing. He was sure James and Albus wouldn't leave him alone, Harry and Ginny would tease him relentlessly, Dominique and Louis would threaten him _again_ about treating their sister right, Bill would threaten him _again_ about treating his daughter right, Fleur would laugh and joke about her teenage days (much to the chagrin of Victoire), his friends would bring it up into every conversation for about a week, and his nan would mention it whenever he and Victoire were around each other.

Teddy just wished that he'd know how his parents would react.

-o-O-o-

"Look Remus, he's got himself a girlfriend!" Tonks said excitedly, even though they'd been dating for a few months at this point. "Oh look at him, he looks so happy! I mean I'd be if I got to go to the _Quidditch World Cup Finals_ -and not to mention a pretty exciting one at that."

James shook his head disappointedly a few feet away. "He barely watched it! He was too busy snogging his girlfriend!"

Remus rolled his eyes and looked down at his son. He was clearly happy with his girlfriend, and not just his girlfriend but with his family. They'd been watching him all throughout his life, watching him get sorted into Hufflepuff ("Ugh!" Sirius said. "He should've been a Gryffindor!") and accidentally trip over the stairs ("He reminds me of you," Lily told Tonks). He wondered a lot how much different Teddy's life would be if he and Tonks played a bigger role in it but it isn't good to think of what if's.

"I am very happy for you," he whispered, even though he knew Teddy couldn't-and would never-hear him.


End file.
